Deb VE foto 1

Deb Van Engelenhoven

A small boys asks his grandfather, “Grandpa, what color are my daddy’s eyes?”

Startled, the grandfather answers the questions to the best of his ability. He begins to realize that the real questions underneath this are: “Why don’t I know my daddy? Why don’t I see my daddy? Why don’t I have a daddy that lives with me?”

Grandpa also begins to realize that this question is just the beginning. There will be many more years of questions before his small grandson really understands.

You see, this little guy, like many other youngsters today, is being raised in a single-parent household. He does not know who his daddy is. Nor does he know what his daddy looks like.

His mommy, when confronted with the pregnancy, decided not to have an abortion. She admirably decided to give birth to this child, to keep him and to raise him herself. She also chose not to marry the child’s father.

All of her decisions had led this little one to his curiosity about his daddy’s eyes.

Were her choices right? They were for her. Had she chosen to marry, she might still be raising him alone.

Many children are being raised in several in single-parent homes for different reasons. Some, like the little guy I know, have never known their missing parent. Some come from broken marriages. These children are often raised by one parent, and in many cases this is the only parent they have ever known. The other parent has chosen to be absent from the child’s life.

I know that more and more we have young adults all over this country searching for their natural parents for one reason or another. They are using DNA technology to overcome the obstacles that used to prevent them from finding a parent.

They are deciding to seek out their heritage for one reason or another. The little guy in my story? I am not sure if he will decide one day to seek out the parent he has never known. But if he does there are tools now that can help him find out the color of his daddy’s eyes.

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